I to I Do

The Valentine’s Day Advice That Will Save Your Relationship

Valentine's Day RelationshipValentine’s Day is quickly approaching and if you’re a woman in a relationship you’re probably wondering what novel romantic adventure your man is planning for you. You might be dropping some subtle hints to make sure he realizes how important the day is for you, and for the relationship. You really want this relationship to work, and you don’t want him to screw it up because if he does, you might have to take drastic action. The anticipation and stress is building up in your mind. Will he pass or fail?

None of this probably applies to you, because you’re much to “real” to care about a media created day of love that is the cause of so much stress and frustration for those who aren’t in relationships or whose relationship partners don’t live up to their Valentine’s Day fantasies. But for the handful of you who do relate to my opening lines, I’ll give you a piece of advice that might very well save your relationship.

Most men are generally clueless about lots of things that women take for granted as being important. For many men, creative Valentine’s Day dates and gifts fall into that category. It’s not that they don’t love you, care about you, or appreciate you. They just don’t understand how important it is to you that they express it in a special way on Valentine’s Day.

I wrote an article listing three things never to tell your man. Well, telling him what you need in the gift and pampering department is not one of them. If you appreciate getting flowers, tell him. He probably doesn’t understand why you would want him to “waste” hard earned money on something that will be dead in a couple of days. That’s exactly how I felt (and pretty much still do) until my girlfriend (now wife) explained the facts to me. Women like to get flowers. Now I bring her flowers at least once a week. But I needed her to tell me, because even though I loved her, I didn’t get the flower thing. Now I do.

Whatever your thing is, don’t keep it a secret and expect your man to show his love by figuring it out. He probably won’t, you’ll get upset and think he doesn’t care, you’ll fight and possibly ruin your relationship. Why not avoid all of the drama? There’s still plenty of time. Tell your man what you think is important in the Valentine’s Day department. He’s clueless. He needs your guidance. If he cares about you he’ll listen and make you happy.


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About Arnie Singer

Arnie Singer is a rabbi, author, and dating and relationship advisor committed to helping women of all faiths meet, date, and marry their Mr. Right. Arnie is also the founder of Jzoog.com, a dating and matchmaking site for Jewish singles.

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